my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
