I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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