Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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