12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
