Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize