your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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