We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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