I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I party with great urgency now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
