it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
