Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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