never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
