So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
