Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
