just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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