Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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