How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize