Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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