Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
