No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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