we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
