nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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