wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
