She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
