were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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