Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
