They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
