every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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