I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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