You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
