why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
