Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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