hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
