yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
