I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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