You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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