help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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