I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize