Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize