you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
