Do vagina's smell?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
