Porn is love you can see.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
