I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize