He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
