I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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