I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
