i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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