i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I believe in your delicious
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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