Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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