Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
