i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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