I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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