I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
