Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
