Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize