Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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