a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
