Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
