I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize