I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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