I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
