Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
