yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize