just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize