Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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