My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize